I ❤️ Me

Disclaimer: What I’m about to share might have some people believing that I’ve completely lost my mind. But bear with me and you’ll see that it’s quite the opposite.

Once upon a time there was a 40 year old woman who thought she needed to entertain every single feeling and thought, both positive or negative. This was a fairytale full of anguish, hurt and unbelievable barriers. It was mentally, emotionally and physically draining and one day, she became tired of herself and her feelings.

She is me... well, she WAS me. While browsing through Pinterest on a Saturday morning, I saw a quote about the Law of Attraction. “Thoughts become things.” I began to think that the seemingly bad things I was experiencing were due to my own negative mindset and my false, overtly outspoken need to feel every little thing and wallow in that bad feeling. This is unnecessary bullshit. I began researching Law of Attraction. I decided to try meditation and at first, I couldn’t visualize anything. But I kept practicing 3-4 times a day. In a matter of 2 weeks, things started to shift. I became more relaxed, confident and comfortable with myself.

They say the key to self love is loving yourself for who you are. That is as clear as mud. Who the hell was I? It took me a while but I figured it out. Who you are is the person underneath all the doubt, fear, neediness, anxiety and expectations. And I have to say that I’m a pretty cool chick when I finally let those things go. But how did I get there? It’s simple. I learned to acknowledge whatever negative feeling I had with love and gratitude. I’d literally say, “I see you (insert feeling here). I love that you decided to visit me today and you’re more than welcome to hang out for a bit. But I have better shit to do and you’re not, and never will be, part of my reality.” I know it sounds crazy to have a conversation with a feeling but trust me when I say, the faster you release it, the better you’ll feel. This isn’t saying that I’m emotionless or uncaring. Quite on the contrary actually. Part of being an empath is experiencing feelings of not only your own, but of others. When used correctly, it is the most freeing experience. I feel for other people and their experiences but I meet all of those feelings with love and understanding. If you’re happy, I’m going to love it. If you’re sad, I’m going to show you love. And this is exactly how I take care of myself.

Something occurred this weekend that would have sent fairytale Allison into a tailspin. It’s just a circumstance, irrelevant to my life, that invoked a momentary negative thought process. So I thought, “Cool story, bro. (Bro being “anger” in this scenario) I’m thankful you showed up and made your presence known. But go sit your ass down because you aren’t part of me.”

No matter how you do it, finding peace within yourself is a necessity. Having a bad day at work? Give that negativity it’s own pink slip. Someone did or said something hurtful? That action or spoken word came from within the other person, and has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Some of you might still think I’m nuts. And that’s ok. But I challenge you to try this the next time something is bothering you. You’ll thank me later.

Now get up and go find your joy! There are a lot of beautiful things waiting for you just around the bend. ❤️✌🏼💋

2.7.21