Dear 2021, Kiss My Ass. Love, Me

January- This month is amazing. Damnit. Almost. February- Just say no. (I didn't but I should have) March- Wasting time is a personal decision. April- Karmic retribution is real. May- Sometimes people suck. But sometimes you get to tell them just how much they really do. June- You probably shouldn't drive go-karts after drinking 6 margaritas. July- Get a puppy, they said. It'll be fun, they said. August- I've never met someone who takes naps in their office. Or have I? September- Yes, you can make a “you shaped” indentation on your couch. October- The FBI needs to hire some of my friends. November- Snitches get stitches. Or they just get blocked. Either way, you win. December- Realizing that you have the upper hand in just about any situation is pure gold.